How to Be and Feel Safer

Today’s tip is on how to be and feel safer. If you notice yourself feeling less safe, whether it’s due to a pandemic or other illnesses, mass shootings, predators, or more, let’s explore some approaches that may help alleviate those fears.

Defining safe is- free from harm or risk; secure from threat of danger, harm, or loss. By that definition you may think how can you be and feel safe when the things you fear do bring a threat of danger, they do cause harm or loss.

Our fear is understandable. I know that when I think of the subjects previously mentioned I fear for my life and the life of others. I have had those fears keep me from leaving my bubble. This bubble where I feel protected. Whether it’s not leaving my house, or not going for walks by myself, or not participating in certain fun activities due to the potential of the worst thing that could happen, just to give a few examples.

In order for me to not be controlled by fear and have a quality of life, I explored what is within my control. Because all any of us can do is know our choice in doing what we can to be as safe as possible in order to bring some sense of feeling safer.

When it comes to our health:

  • We can’t stop any diseases from existing on earth, but we can meet with health experts or do research on what measures we can take to prevent ourselves from getting sick. Acknowledge what we do that can prevent us from or make us more susceptible to illness.

    • We can exercise and eat foods that provide the nutrients we need to be healthy and build up or maintain a strong immune system.

    • We can thoroughly wash our hands after touching public surfaces, after using the restroom, and before preparing a meal.

    • And depending on our life situation if we can get a minimum of seven hours of sleep and refrain from being involved in stressful situations, that also helps to have a robust immune system.

      • Me personally, I’m lucky if I get four hours of sleep a night. So whenever I can sleep in I do. There is no shame in getting the rest you need.

      • When I’m in a stressful situation I look into what’s the cause of my stress to see how to resolve it. I also go somewhere I can be alone to take a few breaths.

    • Unfortunately, we can still get sick from a common cold, flu or a life-threatening illness no matter how healthy we are. But instead of fearing what you may or may not get, remember to do what is within your control to be healthy.

The heartbreaking consequence to illnesses is the possibility of losing life.

  • When it comes to fearing losing our own life. Even though all of us know that we’re all going at some time we just don’t typically know how or when, not too many people can still find comfort in that. Some people want to keep living because they still have a lot they want to do, some people don’t know what happens when we die and that uncertainty can cause anxiety. I recommend talking through this with someone you trust or a support group or therapist.

    • For me personally, I do my best to live the way I want and appreciate each day so I won’t leave with any regrets. I also suggest planning for your passing by getting life insurance to help family pay off debt, funeral arrangements, or provide any other financial support. And have a will to specify what possessions are distributed and to whom.

When it comes to losing loved ones.

  • I have lost several people in my family, as well as a few friends, to the point that when the phone ring I had anxiety because I thought it was another call to tell me someone else has passed. I don’t want anyone to go, but I realize that it’s out of my control, so what brings me solace is knowing that

    • I will allow myself to go through the grieving process and not put an expiration date on when I should be done mourning.

    • When I do move forward in life I don’t allow myself to feel guilty, because I’m moving forward not moving on because their life will always matter and have meaning.

    • I’ll also seek support when I need it

    • And practice self-care.

When it comes to fear being related to our safety from others

  • If you can find time and/or afford it, take self-defense training. Being consistent with that training will create the muscle memory to develop a fighter’s reflex. It can also help with your confidence to be prepared to fight back when necessary.

  • Whether you have self-defense training or not, still try and do things in a group if you can. For example, when my friends and I hang out we make sure everyone gets to their car safely. And check the back seat.

  • I personally have not felt safe to go for walks by myself so when I do, I make sure

    • I am aware of what’s going on around me, who’s near me, are cars driving by slowly,

    • Is it possible to stay in crowded places

    • I’m not on my phone so I may be aware of my surroundings and be alert.

    • I also don’t wear headphones so I can hear what’s happening in my environment.

    • And I see how I can use what I have on me for a weapon, whether it’s my keys, water bottle, mace, anything.

  • And for people who are on extra alert because you don’t know if you’re going to come across someone or a group of people who don’t like what or who you are due to your race, sexuality, gender identity, or religious beliefs, so instead of leaving you alone to live your life they decide to attack, I hope those suggestions for self-defense and being aware of your surroundings may still be useful for you. I know they have helped me to get out of the house.

  • One other fear related to being safe from others is mass shootings.

  • Ever since I became aware of mass shootings,

    • when I am in a building, I have made it a point to be aware of my surroundings.

    • I notice where the closest exits are.

    • Notice hiding spots.

    • And once again be aware of who’s around you. Is someone acting suspicious or is someone or a group being erratic or agitated, it may be time to start heading toward those exits just in case a situation escalates.

Those are the methods that work for me to help me get out of the house. I’m not saying I’m no longer afraid of anything, but I’m doing what I can to be as safe as possible depending on the situation.

So, consider what you’re afraid of then determine what you can do to be safer and alleviate those fears.

Also, some of the things we could do so we wouldn’t have to take measures to protect ourselves is if starting in childhood and moving forward into adulthood

  • everyone learned how to handle rejection

  • work through life challenges

  • understand what consent is

  • value human life

  • respect others

  • manage anger

  • resolve any other circumstances that may cause someone to attack

  • And if anyone is displaying disturbing behavior, if they receive proper help it may prevent them from being a danger to themselves and others

If you or your loved ones are interested in counseling, therapy, support groups, or other resources for managing life challenges, please visit https://www.dissolvingtheanchor.com/wellness-resources

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How to Defeat Unhealthy Fears

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Overcoming Loneliness During Social Distancing